A Song For Us
by Suzie's Q
Summary: Lily has been waiting a long time to make it with songwriting, and her boyfriend has always believed in her. AU.


Don't own anything you see here!

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**A Song For Us  
**Summary: Lily has been waiting a long time to make it with songwriting, and her boyfriend has always believed in her.  
Pairing: J/L  
Word Count: 874  
Rating: K+

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For the first time in months, Lily decided to leave the small flat she lived in for something other than groceries, or to visit someone. She kept her head down, bare face hidden by her lank hair, which was in desperate need of a trim.

She went about her business, got a few groceries, spent a few hours in a deserted bookshop where no one would bother her. Afterwards, she headed towards the music shop. It was packed as usual, and she hadn't set foot inside in a very long time.

She very rarely went in there without James. He would drag her in there every single weekend, telling her that they were searching for "inspiration". Lily very rarely found inspiration to write a song from anything he listened to, but it made James happy to do it, and he was more enthusiastic about her song-writing career than she was, so she went along with it.

James never failed to tell her that she would very soon write a song that would top the charts. While the two of them flipped through CDs, checked out the old vinyls section, and spent hours in the 'New Releases' section, James would practically be bouncing around with excitement. As they walked home from the shop to the small flat that they shared, James would rave on.

"You'll do it, one day soon, Lily, I swear."

As she wandered into the shop, she reflected on how helpful James always proved to be, especially on those days where she was pulling her hair out, downhearted and distraught. He never failed to make her a cup of tea, and insist that she was going to be brilliant, and one day everyone would see it.

She just had to find that one song that was buried deep inside her. She hadn't found it yet. A few self-released EPs had been inconsequential, and even Lily herself knew that they didn't have the _song. _The one song that when you listened to it, you couldn't remember what your life was like before you'd heard it. The one song that meant something to people. That left an impact.

He had always said that she would do it. He knew that she had that one song in her. And now she had done it. As she browsed the O-S section, she heard familiar strums and familiar chords. And then, she heard her own voice, playing all over the shop.

She went to the L section, and there, on its own little stand, was her first album. She watched the stand from a few feet away, watching in astonishment as passers-by stopped and picked up a copy, placing it in their baskets.

She had made it. Just like James had said.

She stared blankly for a few seconds, and let her own words wash over her, filling her with bitterness and sadness. Those words meant more than anyone knew.

She left the shop sharply, and before she knew where she was headed, her feet were already taking there. She replayed the song in her head so many times on her journey. She had penned that song over a year ago, and just like it had said, it had catapulted her to the top the charts, and she was now signed. People knew her name. People recognized her when she went to the supermarket in her pyjamas for more popcorn.

They didn't know that she had written that song, in fact, it had come pouring out of her one night at four in the morning. They didn't know the agony it was written in. They didn't know that it wouldn't have been written apart from the pain.

If it never happened, that song would never have happened.

She reached the gates of the familiar cemetery, tears already stinging her eyes. If James was still here, it wouldn't have happened. She stumbled between the rows, barely able to see the names on the headstones as she went.

It didn't matter, she knew her path by heart at this stage. By the time she reached the headstone, she had composed herself enough so that her knees wouldn't buckle under her.

She sat down and crossed her legs, and realized that this was the first time she had visited James' grave without bringing flowers. She sniffed, staring at the ones she had left the day before yesterday.

He had always said that she would make it, and at the time, she had shared the hope. She would have given anything for it. But she'd always imagined that he'd be around. She wished bitterly that he was here to see it.

But he wasn't. He was under the ground, and he couldn't see or hear her. He didn't know that she was sitting by the place he rested, pulling at the grass and pondering over the song she had written. It never would have been written if James was here. She might never have made it.

She stayed there for a long time, staring at the well kept headstone, the cards and flowers from friends and family. And in her head, she repeated like a mantra, that she'd give it all back if she could see him, just one more time.

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